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Rule One: Never Accept Responsibility

Monday, August 8, 2005 | 02:37 AM | by
I'm sure most of you are familiar with Jack Thompson. You know, that power tripping lawyer from Miami who thinks video games are the devil, and solely responsible for human stupidity? The guy that blames video game developers when their customers create mods/hacks that add sexual/violent content to a video game. Because obviously it's the developer's fault that people are modifying their game.

Some of you may recall an interview I did with CBS News on the subject of video game violence, that Mr. Thompson also participated in.

For years I've watched this moron use the tragedies of suffering families as stepping stones in his pursuit of money and fame. A fourteen-year-old kid sleepwalks, and stabs his grandmother to death with a butcher knife. Absolutely horrible. According to Jack Thompson it has nothing to do with noctambulism, and everything to do with the fact that the child played Diablo earlier that day. Why blame the child, or heaven forbid, the parent, when you could just point the finger at a video game?

I knew he was a loon, but I didn't understand the full extent of his senility until he decided to mess with a friend of mine. I'll bet you already read VGCats (and if you don't, you should be ashamed of yourself), so you've probably already read about Scott's "encounter" with Mr. Rationality. If you haven't, I suggest going to make yourself aware.

I'm sick and tired of people like Jack Thompson always looking for a scapegoat. It's always something. For a while it was comic books that were ruining society's youth. Then it was Rock and Roll. Now it just happens to be video games.

There are always going to be parents out there that will not own up to their responsibility in raising a child. And obviously there will always be people like Jack Thompson who facilitates this type of behavior.

A kid plays a video game, then goes and shoots his brother. Guess what; I think that kid was probably fucked up in the head to begin with, before that game ever got into his hands. Either due to chemical imbalances of some sort, or because his parents couldn't be bothered enough to properly explain the concept of right and wrong to their child.

And so suddenly their child is a murderer, and they are faced with the decision of being branded as a poor parent, or shifting the blame onto whatever vice seems most convenient at the moment. In these cases, video games. What option do you think these fucking cowards are going to choose?

I agree one hundred and ten percent that video games should have age ratings. I completely agree that a twelve-year old should not be playing Grand Theft Auto. What's that you say? We already have an age restriction system on video games? Well blow me down.

The bottom line is, all we have the responsibility to do is label the games for content and set an age limit. If a game is labeled M for mature, that's the end of it. If a retail outlet sells it to a minor anyway, go after the store or employee!

If a store is doing their job, then a minor will not be able to walk in and purchase one of these games. So how do they get their hands on it? Well shiver me timbers, the parents buy it for them!

And the most genius part is, that the parents then turn around and yell at the video game developers, which essentially boils down to "I'm too fucking busy and lazy to be bothered with what my kid is doing, and you made this violent video game which my stupid ass bought and it's all your fault because you should have estimated my sheer, overwhelming retardism and take steps to prevent it!"

Face it Jack. You've got nothing. I've been gaming since my Commodore 64, and I've never killed anyone. I've never run through traffic like Frogger, and I've never tried to jump on anyone's skull like Mario.

I could go out right now, pick any murder in the world and link it to something stupid just the way you keep doing. Man kills his wife while she sleeps. Turns out he ate cheerios for breakfast that morning. BAN CHEERIOS OMGWTFBBQ!.

So...

Tuesday, August 9, 2005 | 06:39 PM | by
I've heard that the sheer volume of email being sent to Jack "Hot Coffee" Thompson has shut down his email service.

But you know... Jack strikes me as being a little bit thick.

I think he needs even more email. You know, just to make sure the message is getting across.

But that's just me.