Secession

Duck and cover! Duck and cover!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006 | 12:53 AM | by
Today's comic is pretty disturbed. I'm going to share with you the source of my bewilderment. I present to you Exhibit A. This video is probably NSFW. In fact, it's probably NSFHBC (Not Safe For Human Brain Cells). Don't feel pressured to watch the entire video, because it's duration is eternity, but after a few moments the oddity should present itself.

Now, I love me some bouncing breasts as much as any red-blooded heterosexual male (as opposed to the green-blooded variety? What the...?), and the Xtreme Beach Volleyball franchise, which is centered around anything but volleyball, is nothing new. But as busty and bouncy as past iterations, and even it's DOA fighting counterpart have been, this seems to reach out to a whole new level.

I can picture Itakagi's development plan for the game:


Seriously, did you see those things? They're out of control. Breasts are supposed to be soft, attractive, harmless. Not constantly spazzing out like someone strapped Gloop and Gleep to some girl's chest. Those things have reached critical mass, and no one is safe. I don't think those tiny little bathing suits can contain that shit.

Frankly I have no problem with a game that is clearly entirely dedicated to staring at polygonal butt. If that's your thing, more power to you. But the bazooms in that trailer just freak me out, man. They don't do that in DOA4, and obviously no work was done to make the hair look less like strips of fabric glued to their scalps, so I can only assume that the entire development phase of the game consisted of some guy pushing the "bounce" toggle up as far as it would go.

And now we've got breasts on a rampage.

Great.

Fuck you, crab

Wednesday, October 25, 2006 | 09:55 AM | by
Also, what's up with that one girl chucking that poor crab out into the ocean?

"This is where you live, crab. Go there."