Bed bug defense

Are you having a laugh? Is he having a laugh?

Monday, August 6, 2007 | 02:13 AM | by
In my ongoing love affair with just about any television series that HBO puts out (with the exception of the Ali G show), I've been watching the first two seasons of Extras, which stars Ricky Gervais.

As I'm sure most of you know, The Office with Steve Carrell was based off of a British comedy of the same name (at least I really hope you knew that), with Ricky Gervais playing the roll of the boss. Both versions were brilliant, and if you like that awkward sort of dry humor, I really suggest Extras. It's a little disappointing at only 6 episodes per season, but it's still worth it. Some great moments there.

I'm going to take a moment and pimp a fellow comicker's upcoming comic book series. You may have heard about it. It's called Atomic Robo.

Now, you may be tempted to think that I want to promote this book because I was privileged enough to watch it develop and come to fruition over the past year, or because I was able to read the first issue a few months ago and really enjoyed it, or maybe even because you think Brian and I are friends. Well, you would be wrong. In fact, Brian and I have what I playfully refer to as a hate-hate relationship, in that I hate him, then I hate him some more.

So no, the shameless plugging of his upcoming pulp robot action book is no act of kindness, but rather the initiation of an intricate plan ultimately leading to Brian's inevitable destruction.

You see, I could simply set fire to Brian's house while he sleeps, but that is far too ordinary a death for such a villain. Also, he has thus far proven to be quite fire-retardant. No, a grander fate awaits him. By plugging his comic book I will help contribute to the massive critical acclaim and financial success of the project, in turn burying Brian in money and fame. He will be lulled into a false sense of security, but as the riches pile up, Brian will indulge in his every whim, basking in the celebrity lifestyle. Eventually he will be driven to abuse drugs and alcohol, which will erode him from the inside out as he is driven mad by fame and fortune.

And I will wait, and watch from the sidelines as everything goes exactly according to plan. As I murder Brian with success. And when he is finally no more than the empty husk of a human being, and the police come to me asking questions, I will innocently say "But officers, I was only trying to help the poor lad", and my hands will be clean of the entire mess.

Oh yes, victory shall be quite sweet indeed. And you can help. You can go down to your local comic shop and give them the code word AUG07 3942, which is the secret password for this devious operation. They will in turn purchase for you a copy of Atomic Robo number one, which you can display proudly as proof that you helped contribute to a Brian-free world.

Oh yes, it is just around the corner, my friends.